Fun club

I like cookies...... Especially with vodka....... Especially without cookies......

A man dies and comes to heaven. Archangels meet him and tell:

-  You know, for the first time in history we see a man whose good and bad acts are absolutely equal. We cannot decide where to send you – to hell or paradise, so you can choose.

The man asks: Can I have a look first? – Sure!!!

So the man goes to look at paradise. There people are wearing white clothes, discussing philosophical issues, feeding animals, etc. Then he visits hell. It is like a night club – loud music, striptease girls, everyone is smoking and drinking.  He comes back to the archangels and says: “I prefer to go to hell!”

They take him and throw into boiling water. He cries:

- No! No! I want to go that place with girls and alcohol!

- Man, don’t confuse tourism with immigration!

A group of tourists have an excursion in hell. The guide leads them to the first attraction where attendants fry people.

-          Here we keep murderers!

-          Wow!!!

Then they go to the second attraction where sinners are torn to pieces.

-          Here we keep thieves!

-          Wow!!!

Then they come to the third place where tourists see an intelligent man in glasses who is swimming in a big pan of boiling water. The tourists ask:

-          How are you, Sir?

-          I am OK.

-          What was your profession?

-          I was a teacher at a primary school.

-          But how did you get in hell?

-          Is this hell?!

She: - Nobody loves me!

He: - But I love you!

She: - Stop talking! Is it so difficult to keep silence and listen to me?!