Fun club

HE: “You are so silly!”

SHE: “Instead, I am beautiful.”

HE: “Who told you that?”

SHE: “You.”

HE: “When?”

SHE: “Two weeks ago.”

HE: “Did you believe?”

SHE: “Yes!”

HE: “You are so silly!”

SHE: “Instead, I am beautiful…”

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink vodka?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Before we had a fashion trend for ripped jeans, then for ripped T-shirts. Wnen will ripped socks become fashionable!??

- Your resume is perfect! Remind me: what university did you graduate from?
- The Resume-Writing College.

- Hello! How are you doing?
- Great! Everything is in chocolate. And how are you?
- Well.... Generally, the colour is the same....

Примечание: выражение "в шоколаде" на английском звучит как "to be on Easy Street"

- Come in! Consider yourself at home! You can even do vacuum cleaning!

Jehova's Witnesses knocked at the door of a district attorney and in 15 minutes their status was changed from "witnesses" to "suspects".

В английсом юморе широко используется так называемая "игра слов". Благодаря краткости большинства английских слов многие фразы звучат очень забавно. Например: "Two tea to two at two to two" ("Два чая во второй номер без двух минут два"). По-русски это слышится как "ту-ти-ту-ту-эт-ту-ту-ту".

Husband and wife discuss a present for her Mom:

-          Let’s present your Mom as much money as she has lived!

-          Wow! Are you going to give her 50 thousand rubles?

-          Is she 50 thousand years old???

I am one of those who can search for Yandex in Google.