Who and whom are both pronouns for people, and the job in the sentence decides the word. Who is the subject: it does the action. Whom is the object: it receives the action or follows a preposition.
The he and him test settles almost every sentence. Answer the question with he or him. If he fits, use who. If him fits, use whom. The m in whom links to him and them.
In everyday speech, who often replaces whom at the start of a question. Whom survives after prepositions and in formal writing. This page teaches the full pattern, and the drill shows both the formal and the everyday choices.
What each word means
who
who (subject pronoun): the person who does the action. It replaces he, she or they. "Who called?"
whom
whom (object pronoun): the person who receives the action or follows a preposition. It replaces him, her or them. "Whom did you see?"
The rule
Who is the subject
- Who does the action: "Who called you?" The caller is the subject.
- In a relative clause, who is the subject of the clause: "The woman who lives next door is a doctor."
- After who, the verb has no other subject: who eats, who knows, who is coming.
- Who can also ask about identity: "Who is that?" even though the answer may be an object in a longer idea.
Whom is the object
- Whom receives the action: "Whom did you invite?" The invited person is the object.
- Whom follows a preposition: to whom, with whom, from whom, about whom, for whom.
- In a relative clause, whom is the object: "the candidate whom we chose".
- The formal pattern keeps the preposition before whom: "To whom should I write?"
The he and him test
- Answer the question with he or him, and use the same form as the answer.
- He fits: who. "Who called?" "He called." So who is correct.
- Him fits: whom. "Whom did you see?" "I saw him." So whom is correct.
- For prepositional phrases, the object answer gives whom: "For whom are you waiting?" "I am waiting for him."
Formal and everyday English
- In speech, who is normal at the start of questions: "Who did you meet?"
- In formal writing, whom is expected as the object: "Whom did you meet?"
- After a preposition, whom still sounds natural even in speech: "With whom?" or the informal "Who with?"
- The fixed opening "To whom it may concern" keeps whom and is used in letters without a named reader.
How to remember
The trick: The m in whom matches him and them. If him fits the answer, use whom; if he fits, use who.
Examples
- Who called you last night?The caller is the subject, so who is correct.
- Whom did you invite to the party?The answer is I invited him, so whom is correct in careful writing.
- The woman who lives next door is a doctor.Who is the subject of lives.
- To whom should I address the letter?Whom follows the preposition to.
- Who is coming with us?The subject is the person coming, so who is correct.
- The candidate whom we chose was the youngest.Whom is the object of chose: we chose her.
- With whom did you travel?Whom follows the preposition with in formal style.
- Who ate the last biscuit?The eater is the subject of ate.
Common mistakes
- Wrong: Whom is at the door? Right: Who is at the door?
- The person at the door is the subject, so who is correct.
- Wrong: The man whom called you is my uncle. Right: The man who called you is my uncle.
- The man is the subject of called, so the subject pronoun who is needed.
- Wrong: To who should I send it? Right: To whom should I send it?
- After the preposition to, the object form whom is correct in formal English.
- Wrong: Whom is your teacher? Right: Who is your teacher?
- The question asks about the subject, so who is correct.
- Wrong: Whom ate my sandwich? Right: Who ate my sandwich?
- The eater is the subject of ate, so who is required.
Practice drill
Answer all 15 questions. Each answer is marked at once, and the rule is explained under the question.
___ called you last night?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: A. Who The caller is the subject of called, so who is correct.
___ did you invite to the party?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: B. Whom The answer is I invited him, so the object form whom is correct in careful writing.
The woman ___ lives next door is a doctor.
Show answer and explanation
Answer: C. who The woman is the subject of lives, so who is needed.
To ___ should I address the letter?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: D. whom After the preposition to, the object form whom is correct.
___ is coming with us?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: A. Who The coming person is the subject, so who is correct.
The candidate ___ we chose was young.
Show answer and explanation
Answer: B. whom We chose him, so whom is the object of chose.
With ___ did you travel?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: C. whom Whom follows the preposition with in formal style.
___ ate the last biscuit?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: D. Who The eater is the subject of ate, so who is correct.
___ did you meet at the station?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: A. Whom The answer is I met him, so the object form whom fits careful writing.
The man ___ called you is my uncle.
Show answer and explanation
Answer: B. who The man is the subject of called, so who is correct.
From ___ did you receive the parcel?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: C. whom After the preposition from, the object form whom is correct.
___ wants some tea?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: D. Who The wanting person is the subject of wants, so who is correct.
For ___ are you waiting?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: A. whom After the preposition for, the object form whom is correct.
The singer ___ wrote this song is famous.
Show answer and explanation
Answer: B. who The singer is the subject of wrote, so who is needed.
About ___ were you talking?
Show answer and explanation
Answer: C. whom After the preposition about, the object form whom is correct.
Questions learners ask
Is whom disappearing from English?
In speech, yes at the start of questions: most people say "Who did you meet?" Whom stays common after prepositions and in formal writing: "To whom it may concern", "the person to whom I spoke". Use whom when the sentence is formal or the preposition comes first.
Which is correct: who did you give it to or to whom did you give it?
Both are used. "Who did you give it to?" is friendly and common in speech, with the preposition at the end. "To whom did you give it?" is formal and keeps the preposition first. The formal version needs whom after the preposition.
Does whom ever show possession?
No. The possessive form is whose: "Whose bag is this?" Whose works for people and things, and it never takes an apostrophe. Whom is only the object form.
More confusing words
Principal vs principle
Principal means main, or the head of a school, or the capital sum of a loan. Principle is always a noun: a rule or a belief.
Make vs do
Make creates a result you can point at. Do performs a job or activity, often a routine one. The fixed phrases decide the rest.
Bring vs take
Bring moves something here, to the speaker or the shared place. Take moves something there, away from the speaker.
Browse all the confusing word pairs or take the free A1 to C2 level test to find your starting point.